Iceland summer 2014: Borgarnes to Akureyri

When we left the story on Saturday night, I was still feeling a bit dizzy but ok when upright and enjoying walking around the headland at Borgarnes, seeing fluffy ducklings and a redshank.
On Sunday it was time to move on. After a breakfast of cardboardy cereal, warm apple juice but perfect orange juice and lovely hot buttered toast fresh from two trips through the very exciting conveyor toaster, I smuggled the tent out to the car, did another quick walk around my circuit to make sure I was definitely ok when upright, stopped at the roadhouse for petrol and juice and headed north.
The journey itself was fairly unremarkable – four hours across lava fields, low mountain passes, past long flat-topped ridges of mountain which gained a smattering of snow as I went further.
25ish minutes out of Borgarnes, I came to the university town of Bifröst. Hafnarfjordur gets called “the town in the lava” but it’s a much more fitting name for Bifröst, literally carved into the middle of a lava field and loomed over by two reddish scoria volcanoes.
It turns out you can climb one. I didn’t mean to but… it was there. Its name is Grábrók and it’s only 170m. Nice and easy, follow the steps to the top, walk around the top of the crater, take lots of photos of the view, steal a little piece of lava rock – some kind of basalt, looked like pumice but not light enough.
That was a detour of much less than an hour and it was just after 4 when I arrived at the hotel in Akureyri. The Edda chain of hotels are school/university accommodation most of the year and open as budget hotels in summer. It very much looks like a student room and I have shared facilities. As usual, all the sockets are in inconvenient places. But all the rooms have names – mine is called Helgrimur.
I went down to the town centre – really down. I hadn’t really realised that Akureyri is built on on the steeply-sloping side of a mountain and I’m quite high up the town. I made it to the church. They want it to be compared to Reykjavik’s Hallsgrímskirkja but it’s just not on the same scale. Apparently its windows are from Coventry Cathedral, “removed, with remarkable foresight, at the start of World War II” and found in a London antiques shop by an Icelander. There’s not much in Akureyri town centre because Akureyri is quite a small place, even if it is Iceland’s second city.
I finally found a supermarket, five minutes walk from my hotel in the opposite direction to the town centre but first I thought I’d go swimming.
All would have been beautiful except I left my towel in the car. Never mind. That’s actually not such a catastrophe. The pools are lovely. A big warmish main one. A huge but freezing one with lanes. A hot pool. A warm beach of a pool with waterfall. Two hot pots – a pleasantly hot hot pot and a painfully hot hot pot. And a kids pool. Plus the splash pool for the slides. And the container of cold water for the men to prove how manly they are.
I went to the supermarket afterwards. No plastic cheese slices. I had to get real cheese – no idea what it is, the packet just says “ostur” which is Icelandic for cheese. The hamburger bread that I bought to go with it had mould within 24 hours, so that was nice and I shall find somewhere else to get bread tomorrow.
And then I was tired so I was asleep by 8.30. Not so dizzy just lying down but moving while lying down didn’t feel too delightful.

Iceland summer 2014: Borgarnes part 2

Since I was feeling a little better – a little better than I did at 7am, anyway – i was persuaded to go out for a nice little walk in the fresh air.

I had made the delightful discovery that the socket I had my tablet & camera plugged into was actually pulling power out of them. My tablet was visibly losing power while being used despite being plugged in and the camera, which I was just keeping topped up was so dead it wouldn’t even switch on, after having been charged for eight hours. I moved them to a different socket and with my camera at one nearly bar of charge, took it out for a walk.

I now remember why I’m fond of Borgarnes. There’s nothing here other than the service centre and the wonderful Settlement Museum for tourists but it’s such a pleasant little place and it sits right in the fjord, with mountains on one side and little rocky cliffs and islands around the lower part of the town. When it’s reasonably sunny, it’s just a pretty place to enjoy the view. I’ve worked out that the weather drifts from south to north. It’s getting sunnier here, sunset is a long way off yet but Fossatún looked like it’s in for another nasty night. I chuckle vengefully but I do really like Fossatún when it’s dry and no one’s trying to force me out of my camping spot.
Speaking of Fossatún, there was a girl from Florida in the hot tubs, first talking about this “really nice guy” she stayed with couchsurfing (who did not sound nice and sent up several red flags in what she was saying including asking her to not mention something that happened because he had a really good reputation on Couchsurfing – presumably because he bans anyone from mentioning the bad things and she also said “I think I’d stay with him – but maybe not on my own” which she also wasn’t going to mention and which i felt is really worth mentioning – “as a single female traveller I did not feel safe on my own with him” is definitely something I’d want to know.)

Anyway, she was complaining about the European-style breakfast on offer at Fossatún – and that’s unusual, I think, a campsite offering breakfast. First, she felt it was too expensive (I’m inclined to agree – 1600kr is about £8 and I can’t eat enough breakfast for that to be worth it for me ) and second: “Where are the aigs? Where are the pancakes?” Well, pancakes are not a breakfast food, so that’s the answer to the second question. As for the first, if I’d heard it out of context, I’d have had no idea what “aigs” were supposed to be. “Aigs”? Really?

Oddly, I feel a little more dizzy back in my room (which smells of sulphur because I had a shower and apparently the hot water here comes directly out of the ground, which dates this hotel back at least a couple of decades) than I did walking around outside. So waking up in the morning will, in itself, probably not tell me whether I really feel better or not.

Iceland summer 2014: Borgarnes

Today has been a total waste of a day. It began badly on last night. My neighbours had no intention of shutting up and going to bed until about 2.30, the rain bucketed down and what had been a patch of mud when I arrived on Wednesday became a huge puddle, almost a flood. It kept everyone else off the main part of the field but it also kept me checking it every ten minutes for fear I’d have to suddenly move the tent or even abandon it.

By about 6.30, the kids were crying and shouting and I discovered that every now and then, the tent seemed to start spinning uncontrollably. Ignoring it was impossible. Well, obviously I had labyrinthitis, I wasn’t going to be able to drive, I wasn’t going to be able to fly home and I’d be stuck in a tent about to be flooded for the next several weeks. Settling down at the other end of the tent on a little mountain of sleeping bag helped a bit but not enough. I got up, discovered that it was more or less ok once I was upright. I had a little drink and a biscuit in the car and then made a plan. I struck camp and threw everything into the car. The flood had hidden in the grass and I had to paddle through water deep enough tp submerge my feet every time I crossed from tent to car. Being upright and active was helping but there was no way I was driving four hours to Akureyri today. I could make it to Borgarnes though. So I did. I went to the Hotel Borgarnes, asked for a room for tonight that I could have immediately and was in a warm, dry, quiet, cosy bed with not-quite-good-enough blackout curtains by 9.45am.

And there I have remained. There hasn’t been any room-spinning, just general feeling dizzy. I thought about going to Borgarnes pool but settled for just a shower in the end. I’ve eaten and I really hope I feel better tomorrow after a good night’s sleep in a real bed because if I don’t, I don’t know what to.do.

Iceland summer 2014: Snæfellsnes

When I got back to Fossatún, I was feeling quite attached to the place and quite sad about leaving tomorrow. However, when I reached my tent, I discovered that a load of morons had moved onto my field and were trying to park a caravan where it would not fit. I went to the hot tubs for a couple of hours and found they’d moved yet another caravan on and had blocked my car in with one at each end, parked inches away. “Can you move your car please?” How the hell do you think I’m going to do that? And why should I? Mine is next to *my* tent and has been for two days and I assure you, it wasn’t me who chose to pitch your camp in an awkward place. I will slam my car doors as many times and as loudly as I can when packing up in the morning, believe me, you rude, inconsiderate people.

Anyway. Before the entire world descended on Fossatún and ruined everything,I was driving around Snæfellsnes, dodging showers, climbing gorges using stepping stones, being divebombed by Arctic terns, knocking over stone towers on the beach (graffiti, junk, eyesores and haven’t you grown out of being proud of making little towers yet?), enjoying the view from the little mountain that forms the north wall of Stykkisholmur’s harbour and generally doing a lot of driving.

Now, if that radio is still wailing in an hour and those stupid kids scream even once in the night, I will lose my temper.

Tomorrow I move on to Akureyri, where I shall find a hotel for at least two nights. Four if this endless rain doesn’t stop.

Iceland summer 2014: The West Country

Sitting in my tent yesterday evening got really cold so I decided, difficult as it was, to go and warm up in the hot tubs, which I didn’t at all have to myself this time (and everyone else had brought alcohol of some kind).

Today I explored around the west of Iceland. First stop, Hraunfossar, unusual waterfalls which kind of aren’t waterfalls. Instead of a stream or river falling down, the water pours out from under the lava field and into the fast-flowing glacial river below. A little further upstream are the Barnafoss where the fast-flowing river crashes through twists and turns and arches and all kinds of dramatically eroded shapes. At the end of the footpath were two idiots – one more idiotic than the other – who had climbed over the chain, ignored the “you shall not pass” sign and were scratching their names into the rock. I gave them disapproving looks and then when the idiot got out his phone to take a photo of how clever he was to be able to write his own name, I stared at him and shook my head and to my astonishment, he put the phone away, came back to the path and wandered off downriver.

Next stop – in order to kill time – was Reykholt, Icelandic cultural centre and home to Snorri Sturluson. I wanted to paddle, or at least dip my feet, in Snorralaug, Snorri’s private pool but it was too cold. Still, time had been killed and now I could go to the Icelandic Goat Centre. Of course, had I known how long it would take to get there, I wouldn’t have bothered going to Reykholt. The map looked like it was just off the main road. It turned out to be a good half an hour down a gravel road – or ten minutes if you’re one of these people who can drive a gravel road at the speed limit instead of 30kph.

Still, I got there eventually. I met and played with many of their nearly 200 goats. I met a few “men” who had acted in Game of Thrones – you know the goat that gets eaten by a dragon? I met him. I also met a friendly if scatterbrained goat who enjoyed some attention but had lost her baby (they wandered the field bleating for each other in adorable high-pitched voices) and Molly, whose name is somehow pronounced with two ls in a way I just can’t manage, who wanted to eat everything and wanted all the attention. I bought some mint-flavoured goat milk soap and then I had to drive another 10km back to paved road, getting overtaken by a milk tanker along the way.
The last stop was at Deildartunguhver, the biggest hot spring in Europe. It springs out 180 litres of boiling water every second and provides heating and hot water for the entire west of Iceland, as well as leaving plenty bubbling and sloshing and steaming for tourists. I went there briefly last year and this year discovered that the dog really does live there.

Back at Fossatún, I have eaten cheese sandwiches and now I’m still sitting in the inside kitchen because it has electricity and my tablet is not charging very well in the car.

Iceland summer 2014: To Fossatún

It was still damp and miserable and fly-infested at Laugarvatn when I woke up, still no sign of anyone to pay. I decided it was time to move on, stopping first at the roadhouse to contend with an automatic petrol pump that demands you put your card in upside down and then demands the value of petrol you plan to put in. 1) I have no idea how much petrol costs here 2) I have no idea how much my car plans to drink.

I stopped at Thingvellir at exactly the same time as approximately 16 coaches from a cruise ship and immediately became quite possessive about Thingvellir – how dare all these people crowd it, with no understanding of or interest in the cultural and geological significance of it. It also rained heavily.
I drove on towards Borgarnes, going around the Hvalfjordur instead of through the tunnel under it. This meant my route from Thingvellir was via the lesser used road 47 (I think) – a gravel one. I’m allowed to drive on gravel – I’m allowed to drive at 80kph but if I got up to 40 it felt far too fast. I did meet a nice waterfall called Thoráfoss but the whole road (all 14km of it!) felt isolated and scary. I am not going to the Westfjords where I’ll have to drive over 50km on gravel, not this time. I have a car. I’ll explore the north instead.
I drove around the Hvalfjordur which took a while but was nice ans scenic, drove up the Ring Road to Borgarnes and stopped at the N1 service centre where I discovered there was a cafw which did soup. In Iceland, soup comes with free bread and butter and it seems the bread and butter remain free even if you don’t have the soup.
Fed at last (having skipped breakfast in favour of bundling a wet tent into the car and yelling at the flies while trying to force a brush through my hair) I set the satnav to take me to Fossatún. I’ve been here twice before – I saw the Northern Lights here eighteen months ago and I also had a long lunch stop here last summer. It’s a nice site.

Windy though but that made sure my tent was dry within five minutes of pitching it and then I made straight for the hot tubs. I sat in there for hours, enjoying the hot water and lack of rain and reading my guidebook.
After the hot tub, I put out a groundsheet and had a cheese sandwich sitting out in the wind. It turned out to be a bit cold and windy on the troll trail so I’m back in my tent now.

I’ll be here a while – two nights paid for and I’ll almost definitely add a third before heading for the North coast at the weekend.

Iceland summer 2014: The Golden Circle

Continuing from where I left off this morning: I went across to the airport to collect my car. It’s a black Hyundai i10, reg no RM H32 and instantly named, imaginatively, “RM”.

It was terrifying at first. I had to get RM from the airport across to the hotel to get my luggage and no amount of sitting stationary playing with the gearstick made it any less terrifying so I just had to try it out. It’s not so bad. I do keep knocking the door when I want to change gear and I keep forgetting the gearstick is as high and as far forward as it is and changing into second seems particularly tricky but actually, I did a lot better with the car than I did with the trolley at the supermarket later.

First I had no choice but to drive on the closest thing Iceland has to a motorway but I came off pretty quickly, heading south towards the Blue Lagoon and Grindavík. Then I followed the road that runs along the southern coast of Reykjanes, detoured to Grænavatn to reprogram the satnav and carried on up to Hveragerdi.
Many a time have I been through Hveragerdi but only once before have I stopped, on my very first morning of my very first trip, when we stopped to give the sunrise a chance to catch up with us. This time I wandered the shopping centre, had a good look.at the crack between the continents which runs right under the building and is visible through a glass floor and then I went shopping.

After that I drove up through Hveragerdi towards the mountains in the hope of finding the hot springs area. I found a very hot hissing something but I was on the wrong side of a river that looked far too big and deep for paddling.

I’d taken the satnav down while I was shopping and I decided I didn’t need to put it back on just to drive to Laugarvatn. I followed the Ring Road almost to Selfoss then turned left at Ingolfsfjall and stopped a little way along for a picnic and to look at the view. On the horizon there were mountains – volcanoes actually, including Hekla, Tindfjallajökull and Eyjafjalljökull and closer, a greyish glacial river joining a crystal clear blue fresh river. It was a bit breezy for a picnic but I ate anyway, took photos of the view and got my Icelandic sim working in my tablet.

While I was sailing along the road towards Laugarvatn I stopped first at a wooded picnic site in an actual bit of very rare Icelandic forest, which turned out to be the little place we’d been to looking for the Northern Lights on my first trip, and then at Kerid, once thought to be an explosion crater but now believed to just be where the sides of a scoria cone collapsed. Either way, it has steep red sides streaked with green vegetation and a pool of deep greenish-blue water in the bottom. It’s an unofficial part of the Golden Circle but currently involved in a dispute over access rights – the landowners are charging for entry but there’s a debate over whether that’s legal here. I handed over my 250kr and went to see.

I’ve been to Kerid a few times but I’ve only ever had a few minutes to take photos before moving on. This time I followed the path which leads right down into the bottom. You can walk right around the lake but it’s not a real path and it looked a bit unstable in places. Then you climb up the side and walk around the top. I took many many photos.

Next stop, since the weather was good, was Geysir. Another place I’ve been hurried through many times. I took my time enjoying the other hot springs and watched several Strokkur eruptions and wandered the shop looking at 66N jackets and extra-long socks and bought an I Love Iceland bag for those times when I just need to bring my wallet and phone with me and have no pockets.

Back at Laugarvatn it started to rain the moment my tent was up and I decided the best thing to do was go to Laugarvatn Fontana – ditto yet again not enough time previously.

I spent more than three hours in there. The middle pool felt hotter than usual and the two hot pools felt painfully hot. Several times I jumped in the coolest pool – a miniature swimming pool – just to cool down. It kept raining and every time it did, I retreated under cover. There’s not a lot at Fontana under cover. The view across the lake kept disappearing in cloud.

At last I had to get out at about quarter to ten – didn’t feel so late because it was still light, give or take the cloud. Soley conditioner is actually very good (because mineral-rich geothermal water is really bad for hair) and I dried my hair for once because soaking wet hair isn’t fun in a tent and then I cane home. There was still no sign of anyone to pay for camping. I dragged my food and electronics and so on into the tent and immediately decided I was just too tired to eat or read.

There’s something at this campsite that’s been making weird alien noises all night. I can only conclude it’s some kind of bird. It also rained all night but it feels warm and dry now, although I haven’t been outside yet.

Iceland summer 2014: Keflavik

I got to Heathrow with no major problems, only traffic just a little faster than a standstill on the M25. Got to the car park and wasn’t expecting to have to hand over my car keys. I’d much rather look after my own keys and make sure they’re with me no matter how many times I move my tent around the west of Iceland than hand them over to a total stranger on an industrial estate in west London but apparently that’s how it works.

Flight was uneventful. My plane was called Öræfajökull, which is the highest mountain in Iceland. You can tell tourism in Iceland is growing because there were new airlines at Keflavik – Lufthansa and Atlantic Airlines and easyJet. When I first came here it was prety much Icelandair and nothing else. Flights were going until 2am so the shops were still open when I arrived at nearly midnight so I finally have the book on thermal pools.

I got my huge heavy bag on my back – apparently lighter than last year but still painful, even if you’re only carrying it a couple of hundred yards to the hotel (see photo to see how close the airport is to my window).
Of course, being so close, it’s really noisy. Really really noisy but I slept. Then I had a much-needed breakfast of cereal and four slices of perfect toast and now I have to pack up and go and collect my car. First stop: Hveragerdi for some food. Second stop: Laugarvatn Fontana spa!

Lapland 2014: Narvik

Another point to Sweden: the lovely light fresh bread I bought at lunchtime yesterday was still lovely and light and fresh at lunchtime today, which is more than I can say for the slice of bread I ended up borrowing from breakfast. I have double windows here, the inner one opens, the outer doesn’t. It’s a fridge for my cheese! And very nice the cheese was with my assorted breads.

Two more points in Sweden’s favour: 1) The town of Gällivare, the last big town before Kiruna, is pronounced Jellyvahray 2) Kiruna is covered in powdery or crunchy snow. Narvik is slightly warmer, so it’s partly melted,leaving a glassy coating of very slippery ice everywhere.

I woke up this morning to blue sky, sunshine and white mountains out of every window. I took the tablet to breakfast so I could update this blog while eating and enjoying the view and then flew straight across the road to the gondola.

I suspected I’d probably want to go up the mountain but I hadn’t realised it was right across the road. The tickets are actually sold at the ski school just up the hill rather than at the station but I could manage that. The gondolas come in trios and I was advised to go in the last one for the best view.

Yes, the view. Narvik sits on the edge of a fjord ringed with white mountains. Dark blue fjord, blue sky, white mountains – definitely up in the Arctic Circle, so much prettier than Kiruna, although to be fair, maybe it’s prettier in the sun too.

I took about a thousand photos of the view. I thought it wasn’t very popular for skiing because Narvik itself is a bit of a utilitarian industrial city rather than a picture-perfect village. It turns out I’d simply got up there half an hour before most of the skiers started to turn up. It still wasn’t Mayrhofen-busy but there were definitely quite a few people up there and a surprising number on foot, just enjoying the view.

After a while I got cold and they’d opened the restaurant so I went in for a cookie and a cup of hot chocolate – getting warm and enjoying the view from massive windows both at the same time!

After two and a half hours of enjoying the view, I decided it was time to descend. I was freezing and I’d seen the view from every angle possible and besides, I planned to come up later to see if the Northern Lights would come out to play over this amazing setting. The only ugly bit of the view was the port – owned and run by LKAB, the Swedish company that owns and runs the mine in Kiruna. That’s no mere coincidence. Narvik is nice and close to Kiruna and provides an ice-free port to export the iron ore. I came here because it’s quickly and easily (in theory) linked to Kiruna which is becuase of the railway bringing the ore to the port.

I spent most of the afternoon eating and sleeping – well, by the time I’d arrived and calmed down and got to bed last night, it was a bit late and I planned to be out in the evening. I sat in reception, using the wifi (it’s a fairly major flaw, as far as I’m concerned, having an entire corridor out of wifi reach), watching the sun set and turn the mountain pink. I’ve never yet managed to get a good photo of a sunsetty snowy mountain.

I happen to be here during the Narvik Winter Festival and according to the website – and the lady at reception agrees – the gondola should be open until 11pm. I don’t plan to stay up there that late, not least for fear of being trapped up there overnight but maybe go up at 9 and see if any lights come out.

There were no lights. My gondola got stuck just outside the top station, so the operator had to force open the doors and let me out onto the snowdrift leading up to the station. It was bitterly cold and there was a breeze round the side of the station. I stuck to the platform out the back, took long-exposure photos of the view and the full moon (I think most of them are very blurry), got utterly frozen and fairly quickly came back down, whereupon it took an.extremely hot shower for me to stop feeling like a human icicle.

Lapland 2014: The E10

Last night, I summarised Saturday in a short Facebook post from the hotel reception. The wifi doesn’t reach as far as my room – I watch endless cycles of connected – obtaining IP address – disabled.

Let’s start from the beginning. I already knew there wasn’t much to see or do in Kiruna. Town’s built on a mine, not tourism. With a train in the afternoon, there wasn’t going to be time for dogsledding or snowmobiling or meeting reindeer, even if those things were available on such short notice. Armed with luggage, I knew it’d be more than.enough simply to get on the train.

I checked out as late as possible, dragged my suitcase through fresh, fluffy snow to the supermarket for bread and cheese and juice and chocolate, stopped at the TIC for a while and then decided to start the epic trek down to the bus station. Even with a detour to an ice sculpture, it took about fifteen minutes. I was an hour early for the shuttlebus and didn’t realise that the vänthall was open, if you just used all your strength on pulling the door.

I got an earlier bus, reasoning that the station at least would have a slightly different view. It did but most of it was behind stuff. I waited for the Luleå train, which was delayed half an hour. My very limited Swedish seemed tp suggest my train was replaced by a bus. This turned out to be true.

A packed bus. I sat wedged in a corner, my bag on my lap, unable to move, hoping it didn’t get too hot because that coat was staying on. There were two young kids opposite me and their bag was wedged against my legs and not going anywhere, no matter how hard I pushed it.

Mercifully, at Abisko, two-thirds of the passengers got off. I moved to the horseshoe of seats around a table at the back, enjoying the freedom. For about five minutes.

Five minutes down the road, we met the tail end of a traffic jam and a glimpse of a neon ! sign in the distance. We detoured up to the station in the village next to it (no one on or off, what a waste) and came back to the jam. It was a little longer by now.

We sat there for two and a half hours. I ate bread and cheese and counted the minutes and got bored. Started to wonder at what point we’d give up and go back to Kiruna or Abisko. I managed to steal a tiny bit of very unreliable wifi to complain on both Facebook and Twitter and look up and translate the news. The train was cancelled because some containers fell off a train at 6.30am and had caused quite a lot of damage to the track between Kiruna and Abisko. Quite why we couldn’t get the train onwards from Abisko, I don’t know. The road was closed because of a storm. I couldn’t see a storm. Yes, it was misty, borderline foggy and there was light snow but no storm. After two hours, I saw traffic coming the other way but still we didn’t move. The driver started the engine and everyone applauded. I muttered impatiently about “Yes, but where are we *going*?!” It turns out my lack of Swedish had led me to miss a whole other drama. The bus had broken down and the company had been phoned for a replacement before the driver managed to get it going. Even better, this bus had refused to start in the morning! Train cancelled, road closed for imaginary storm and unreliable bus! What a brilliant day!

It seemed the road was open one direction at a time. We travelled in convoy, at a crawl, along a snowy (but no.snowier than the Kiruna-Abisko stretch) road for an hour, detoured at the first town to the station where I honestly thought we were either going to hit a lorry or roll down the hill. More crawling. Half an hour standstill at the Norwegian border (at this point, I pulled my hat down over my face and cried a little bit. I’d left Kiruna at 2.45. It was now 8.15 and we’d been stationary longer than we’d been moving. The convoy had taken us 26km and taken an hour and twenty minutes. And now we weren’t moving – again!

We crawled along the Norwegian part of the E10 and then turned onto the E6 and it was like someone had taken the brakes off. We still weren’t moving quickly but it felt like being out of first gear for the first time in three hours.

The final straw was arrival. We were dumped at tge station at 9.25pm. It was dark. It was cold. There were weird people in gowns or strange hats with instruments and candles making weird music around a steam loco. Any other time, I’d have stayed longer and taken photos.

There were no buses. A taxi that drove past me three times without stopping. I had no idea where I was going. I dragged my suitcase up to a petrol station, half-crying, and asked for directions. I was given a map with my route marked on it and off I went.

This was not the best half hour of my life. I panted, dragging this suitcase up the hill, a hill covered in lethally slippery ice, off-balance because of pulling the suitcase, occasionally swearing but mostly crying out loud. It was a horrible day, much too long and now here I was trying to drag a suitcase up a very slippery hill, on my own, in the dark, in a strange place.

And then to find the wifi didn’t work in my room so I couldn’t even tell everyone about it!

405km Kiruna to Narvik took six and three quarter hours. That’s averaging about 26kph. With no internet right now, I can’t convert it to mph.

Sweden is held up as a paragon of ability to deal with snow. Hahaha. No it can’t. Fifty mile standstill on a major road for a minor flurry. I was there, I saw it. This is a myth and a lie.

Sweden’s showers don’t go hot enough. The one here in Norway is wonderfully powerful and will go hot enough to take my skin off if I want. It’s by far the best thing that’s happened to me all day.

Sweden’s fruit juice is watery and almost tasteless.

Kiruna’s website is so unusable, you have no idea what activities it actually has to offer until you get to the TIC. And then it’s too late, usually.

Nothing is pronounced how I think. Kiruna is almost closer to Keerna (sort of half say the u) and Abisko seems somewhere near AAHbshko. I’m still not sure how to pronounce Sámi.

On the positive side, the Swedish word for lift is “hiss” and that’s just beautiful, and I particularly enjoyed the fact that Emilio transported our snowshoes to the cabin in an Ikea bag.

I wish I’d gone to Iceland again instead.